Late last night a certain Twitter celebrity (not naming any names) took it upon herself to start asking why Alan Jones hadn’t come out yet (note, I’m not going to comment on Jones’ sexuality in this post at all. It simply isn’t my business.). Here are the tweets (I’ve deleted all Tweet responding to people, except one directed at Helen Razer):
16h Catherine Deveny @CatherineDeveny
Why does Alan Jones hide his love for cock?
1Oct Catherine Deveny @CatherineDeveny
There is nothing wrong with liking cock. Why is Alan Jones shy about it? It’s normal.
Catherine Deveny @CatherineDeveny
I’m actually asking a serious question. I have never understood why wealthy, powerful, high profile people don’t own their sexuality!
Catherine Deveny @CatherineDeveny
But hang on everyone. Michael Kirby and thousands of other GLBTi are the same age as Alan Jones and out. It’s a form of self homophobia.
Catherine Deveny @CatherineDeveny
How is saying someone likes cock ‘an attack’ ? It’s like saying someone liking pasta is ‘an attack’.
Catherine Deveny @CatherineDeveny
Guys, guys, guys! Everyone knows Alan Jones is gay and we have NO problem with it. Why does he?
Catherine Deveny @CatherineDeveny
Alan Jones’ listeners are incredibly loyal. If he came out he’d keep them and get a whole new audience. I don’t get it. What’s his fear?
Catherine Deveny @CatherineDeveny
Wow! Amazing all the homophobes saying it’s disgusting I bring Jones’ sexuality up. Him being gay is not a big deal. Him denying is.
Catherine Deveny @CatherineDeveny
I have never linked Alan Jones’ Gillard comments with his sexuality. I’ve just never understood his shyness about it.
Catherine Deveny @CatherineDeveny
I don’t hate Alan Jones for being in the closet. I just don’t understand it. I hate him because he’s a misogynist bigot.
Catherine Deveny @CatherineDeveny
@HelenRazer I. Just. Don’t. Get. It.
Catherine Deveny @CatherineDeveny
Saying ‘I don’t get why Alan Jones doesn’t come out. We all know and don’t care’ is not judging him. Dickheads.
Catherine Deveny @CatherineDeveny
When established high profile people in the public eye come out they help dissolve homophobia.
Catherine Deveny @CatherineDeveny
It’s very intellectually lazy suggesting wondering why a well know gay man doesn’t come out is homophobia.
Now, I don’t want to use this piece as an opportunity to attack Catherine Deveny. The ideas that she brings out (which are popular well beyond her); that gay people in the public view should just ‘come out’ really do need to be tackled.
Let’s start by looking at the issue of why don’t people like Jones, if in fact he were to define himself as being gay (more on that later), don’t come out. It’s funny that Deveny says that it is ‘intellectually lazy’ for her to be called homophobic as I think it’s pretty intellectually lazy if you can’t think of any reasons people might not want to come out.
There are many reasons people don’t want to come out. It could be that it will affect their relationships or career. They may fear abuse. Alternatively, they may be perfectly happy not being ‘out’. They may even not identify themselves with labels such as ‘gay’ and therefore ‘coming out’ it not something they want to do. These are just a few ideas off the top of my head, but I am certain there are plenty more. It’s not hard to think of them and if you can’t see them you’re either lazy or ignorant about the role of homophobia in our society.
Demanding that others come out is not just lazy though. It can also be extremely harmful.
As one of Deveny’s tweets showed, one of the biggest reasons people say others should come out is that apparently this helps the cause of ending homophobia. The thought process is that if more high-profile people come out, then it will break down some of the barriers around homosexuality.
When you think about it this is a huge burden to place on high-profile queer members of our community. It puts the weight of the queer community on the shoulders of a few and says ‘you have a responsibility, no matter what the consequences are for you’. I’m not saying that queer people don’t have a responsibility to try and tackle homophobia. We all do (in fact if you want to criticise Jones for anything it may be this, and not in his disclosure of his sexuality). But to place the burden on a certain few without thinking about the consequences is destructive.
More importantly, in doing so it also starts to place the blame on the ‘victims’ of homophobia. It says that homophobia is the fault of those who aren’t coming out, rather than on those who are homophobic and stopping people from coming out in the first place.
Building on this, demanding that people come out really breaks down some of the broader goals of the queer movement. Coming out is really a process of putting a new label onto yourself. It is about dropping the straight label and adding the gay or lesbian or bisexual label etc. While this may be useful for many (it has worked pretty well for me), for many others that simply isn’t the case. They may not have a new label that they want to come out to. They may be completely happy with the labels that they currently have. Or they may just be happy without any labels on them at all.
Demanding that these people come out therefore is potentially about demanding that people assign themselves labels, or sexualities, that they don’t want. Accepting people’s sexuality should be about accepting and letting people be who they want to be, which includes their desire to disclose their sexual activities and preferences. Demanding that people come out goes directly against this.
Now that doesn’t mean that people being forced to stay in the closet isn’t a problem. Clearly many continue to suffer from being forced to hide their sexual preferences. But forcing people to come out when they may not want to is not the solution. In fact, if we want to find one solution (of many), tackling our own prejudices may be one of them. One of the tweets Deveny retweeted in reaction to her comments was this one:
@CatherineDeveny I’m gay, I’ve spoken with my people. Jones can stay in closet, we don’t want him.
It’s a pretty common thing when you hear about right-wing, or even ugly people who come out. It may be funny, but it is extremely destructive. What comments like this show is how exclusive much of the queer movement can be. If you’re someone we don’t like, or are seen as a traitor, then we ‘don’t want you on our team.’
Whilst I often find it difficult to understand how queer people can engage with some of the most homophobic elements of our society, the reality is we can’t claim to be open and accepting, but then actively reject people because we disagree with their views. This kind of behaviour adds extra pressure on people to stay ‘in the closet’ even if they want to come out as they don’t see a community that will be accepting if they do.
It might feel like you are doing a service to the queer community by saying that people like Jones should come out. But what you’re actually doing is putting immense on some to potentially ‘come out’ to a label that they don’t want. In that case all you’re really doing is hurting people and the queer movement.